This week on... Days of our Facebook posts...
Daaaaaayum, you ladies went for the jugular last night.
It began with a post about a woman's child putting diaper cream in his mouth. Don't worry, after asking our resident Facebook mommy doctors, she did make a phone call to the doctor's office... after posting a photo of her child covered in diaper cream, for proof I suppose. I'm just glad she posted the picture. Without it there's no way I could have diagnosed Osteoporosis correctly, which causes permanent blindness within two and a half minutes.
Anyway, the usual comments poured in, and then... the UNICORN comment. Not to be confused with the Unicorn Moms, who are busy being kicked out of Target for... hula hooping, or being drunk? All bets are off. Anyway, the comment I speak of told the mom of the diaper cream eating boy to, paraphrasing, tame her savage child and maybe next time she won't judge moms at Underwood Farms when their kids eat berries.
WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. SHOTS FIRED.
*Cue everyone frantically typing in "Underwood Farms" in the search bar.* Good news... THAT post pops up third. Within that post, diaper cream mom does in fact refer to her boy as a savage, chastises women whose children eat the berries at Underwood Farms, and says she doesn't give a fuck.
Back to the diaper cream thread. It poofs! I guess, because she doesn't give a fuck? But seriously, I'm impressed you all have that sort of memory to dig deep on comment history! I barely remember what I posted 24 hours ago, let alone posts that happened two weeks ago, unless you're huggies' wipe chick. That post is a legacy post.
That wasn't all that happened this week. We were treated to a vaccine post! Well more specifically a woman asking for tips after her baby gets vaccinated. That somehow turned into a bunch of Jenny McCarthy and "Vaxxed" anti-vax crusaders rallying war cries to see this amazing documentary that will... BLOW YOUR MIND. I would never go to a showing of anti-vax propaganda. Can you imagine how many diseases could be lurking in that audience? I imagine at the door they greet you with Elderberry syrup. Jokes aside, hellllllll no. Robert DeNiro is not my source for how I'll make a decision about vaccinations, thanks.
And then we encountered the post from a woman who asked if she could leave the hospital after the birth of her baby, so that she could get some rest, while they watched the baby. Because, heck, the hospital watches preemie babies all the time and parents are allowed to leave. What's the difference??
Then she chastised everyone for judging her and said next time she'll just google it.
FINALLY, a smart solution. LE GOOGLE.
I just read a headline about studies showing that the "cry it out" method doesn't kill your child, like previously alleged. Don't worry, I'm sure moms will still find a way to condescend and judge those who implement it.
Oh, my coffee is ready.