CRINGE. CRINGE. CRINGE.


I done fucked up. This was a couple months back and it still haunts me.

As I groggily sipped my coffee that morning after packing up the little bebe and sending her on her way to Grandma’s before work, I hopped on Facebook as I so often do to catch up on what’s happened during the midnight hours. “What, oh what shall I talk about on Facebook today?!” I pondered to myself.

Before I was a mom, here's a list of things I WOULDN'T EVER DO:


1. Cosleep. Nooooope. Our baby would always sleep in his/her crib no matter what. We certainly weren't going to create bad habits. If we needed to get up and rock baby back to sleep eight times a night, so be it. That's parenting. 


REALITY: This hussy ain't going down? Fuck it. Bring her in bed. NOW. Bring her in bed before she gets more worked up. Ah, cute baby in my bed!!! Wait, anonymous baby, stop kicking me in the head. please. Ok, that's it, pillow fortress time. Paci. Blanky. Ducky. Zzzzzzzz.

​About a year ago, I had another blog.


Some of you might have heard about it: Anything But Brunch.


It was blogging about exactly what I do now, but under my name. Things were glorious for a while... until I drank a bottle of wine and revealed a blog post of mine. Sometimes I like danger. Sometimes I'm just stupid. And sometimes I just don't give two fucks. These things are highly tied to the amount of caffeine and alcohol I have in me at any given time. At the time I shared it, I honestly thought we'd all be able to laugh together at ourselves. I was sooooo wrong.

​HOLY hell, these mom groups be TESTING ME TODAY.

DEAR EVERYONE. 

I DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE A BOOB IN PUBLIC BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T HAVE A SEX EDUCATION CLASS IN HIGH SCHOOL AND STILL THINK "BOOBIES!!!!"

Some context--- a thread about breastfeeding in public is happening. A woman chimes in that she's tired of these women being pushy (about being able to breastfeed in public). She went on to comment:

Sometimes a gift horse just looks you straight in the eye.

Thanks Moms of Conejo Valley... you really never let me down! #MOCV

Usually I dedicate Tuesdays to #TMITUESDAYS, and we certainly had some solid leads, didn't we ladies? Between the picture of the popped zit, the description of a heavy period -- (blood everywhere!), and the woman sharing that she leaks semen all day after her husband finishes inside of her, well... honestly, I don't even know how to wrap that sentence up so I'm not gonna try.