Recently, someone messaged me and asked me why I no longer post about mom group posts. My posts had made them laugh, and while they appreciate some of my "political" posts and still follow my page, they miss the days of laughter over the most ridiculous mom group post of the day.
I mean, material was RIPE if we're being honest. From women bemoaning over being taken to brunch to posts waxing poetic about the latest fight or sex episode with their "DHs" (dear husbands), I didn't have to look far for entertainment. It filled my feed by the second.
So going back to the first time I started "blogging," which lasted all of nine and half seconds, I had a very similarly-styled blogged, which at the time, was named "Anything But Brunch." You've heard me talk about this before if you've read some of my previous blogs or posts. It stemmed from a sarcastic "note" I wrote on Facebook on my personal page, detailing my shock and awe over the things I was reading about in a mom group a friend had added me too. I guess I took it too seriously and not seriously enough if that makes any sense. Anyway, I wrote the little note on my Facebook page, it garnered some reaction, and voila, I created a makeshift blog on Tumblr.
Of course, it wasn't long before it got shared in said mom group, and the pitchforks came out. While I had been receiving likes and laughter from friends and family, wellllllll, I can't say the response was the same from the women of this group who felt betrayed. Their safe space had been invaded and I was public enemy number one. I mean, the fallout resulted in a new admin being brought in, members that were less than a year old to the group being kicked out, etc. It was a fiasco.
And at first I didn't care. I was all, "la, la, laaaaa, sorry not sorry!"
And then I was like: "OMG AB IS GOING TO HAVE NO FRIENDS. I'VE ALREADY RUINED HER WHOLE LIFE." I was overwhelmed with anxiety. I wrote apology messages and attempted to at least calm the shit storm I was responsible for creating.
And there was a part of me, a part which grew bigger, that felt genuinely bad at the thought of hurting these women's feelings for a laugh. Whereas, I aimed, and sometimes poorly, to poke fun at the content (so I convinced myself it was a victimless crime), there's still an originator of that content, and still someone on the other side of that post who will feel however they want to about a post of theirs being taken to town.
Of course, when shit hit the fan so swiftly and I was just a wee little lamb, I deleted that Tumblr blog without blinking and moved on with my life. It wasn't until a year later that my friend encouraged me to start up the blog again. It had been a while. My wounds and lessons of blogging past had faded... except the lesson that the blog should be anonymous so I didn't lose my head.
And it was a lot of fun. There were a lot of laughs to be had. And on the whole, a lot of people with the same sense of humor as myself found their way to my page and we had a jolly time. But, again, I naturally found myself over time having those same feelings of guilt. I love laughing as much as the next person, but it still didn't necessarily always feel great to do so at the expense of others, no matter what cautions I took to avoid that.
And so naturally, my page has shifted. We don't joke about mom groups much anymore. I mean, sometimes because sometimes you just receive a screenshot that can't be ignored, but on the whole... I've realized that if I want to preach women empowerment, perhaps instead of filling my time in mom groups that do the exact opposite of that, I should focus my time on those making a difference... and maybe even find some time to do that myself.
So, I feel ya. It was a good thing that had its time and place, but I couldn't live up to the expectations forever, nor the responsibility that came with punchline.