Rebecca was annoyed with herself. She knew she was being insufferable and yet she couldn't shake her bitch mode. Chad didn't deserve it. She knew that.
Rebecca had a habit of projecting; well internalizing which turned into projecting. She didn't know why Chad continued to put up with it. Probably because they had known each other since junior high. She wasn't always like this. She knew he knew that. It still didn't make it fair.
She thought back to the conversation that led to them dating. It should have been everything she wanted to hear. Chad was a good guy, a little traditional and expected, but is there really anything wrong with that? He had good manners, came from a good family - his mom was best friends with her mom. He knew how to treat women. And Chad was driven. He was a hard worker and wanted a family some day. She should have been thrilled when he asked her to take their friendship further. But instead of butterflies, a lump had settled in her stomach. This was her best friend. What if it didn't work out? Maybe it was worth pursuing? Maybe she owed him that much?
Things had been going along just fine, boring but fine. The California trip seemed like a good idea. Maybe they'd find that spark, that romance that was missing.
Rebecca had always felt empty in relationships. It wasn't just a Chad problem. It was a her problem. She just couldn't be bothered to get excited by any of her past boyfriends. Inevitably she'd get so frustrated with herself she'd end up taking it out on them, ultimately pushing them away. That's easier to do them being the one that breaks up with them, right?
But these past few days her mind had been in overdrive. Something happened on their flight that she hadn't expected. She made eye contact with someone who made her heart race -- something she had never felt before. And that made her feel guilty, and in turn, defensive.
She thought that after they landed, the feeling would go away. Disappear as quickly as it had formed. Instead, the opposite happened. She couldn't stop thinking about this person, which confused her. How had it never occurred to her before? She had always dated the same type of safe, predictable guys. Suddenly things were starting to make sense, and suddenly she was dreading what that meant for her and Chad, their relationship, and their friendship.