Mom Groups Anonymous

RAMBLINGS.

So, I've left most of the mom groups as you know.

I feel like there should be a group for that.

Mom Groups Anonymous. "We're here to offer you the same support you thought you'd get online!" Can you imagine? That'd go over well. And by well, I mean catastrophic. I feel like they'd HAVE to have security. 

Despite having gone to the left, to the left....I still hear about your shenanigans ladies. WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT WHAT SEMEN TASTES LIKE? 

Something else I've also been pondering lately. There's a large group in LA that has "nanny watch" posts, like daily. MOCV, is about half the size but I can't recall ever coming across a nanny watch post. Is it because we don't hire nannies in the Conejo Valley? Is it because the moms of LA have no idea how to screen nannies? This is a burning question I need to know! How is it possible that every single nanny they've hired "needs to be deported?" 

So, the Unicorn Moms (who I have a soft spot for, but you know you're gonna get roasted) have designed a bumper sticker. I'm just imagining the possibilities of all the interactions. Like, do you become a better driver AND parker, once you identify as a UM? Do you have to pretend like you're not judging the moms who give their children fries instead of fruit? Do you start making an effort to look "presentable" in case you spot another UM?

A new mom asked what she could use on dry skin. Coconut oil is about to change her life. Wait someone said Egyptian Magic. Not kidding.

Speaking of monster babies, was anyone in Home Depot last night? Our demon child, errr I mean precious sweet snowflake certainly wanted to make sure everyone knew she wasn't getting her way. On the plus side, we won't be bringing her to Home Depot anymore.

When people asked what I was for Halloween: "A woman still trying to lose the baby weight." THANKS SPANX. 

Does anyone else watch Vanderpump Rules? I can't hide it. It's my guilty pleasure. Beautiful people with recycled drama because they're beautiful, work at a bar, and hook up with everyone. Oh life. I'm over here just noticing there's a rip in my jeans. IN THE THIGH SECTION. Sigh.

AB has learned she likes beach balls. Until she falls into the table leg while chasing said beach balls. Then she hates them. And everyone. Then she sees Peppa, and then she loves beach balls again.

Kinsie (MOCV admin) was frustrated when someone without kids asked her "so do you JUST stay at home all day with your kids?" Those be fighting words. Do you JUST get scheduled breaks while you work? Do you JUST sleep in your mom's basement? 

I got to go to the market today, without AB. I still made sure to pick up some baby food related items so people would know I looked disheveled for a reason.

Anyone else considering a move to Arizona to avoid Daylight Savings?

I can't handle reading one more "open letter" blog about why I need to love my vagina. How many of these do we neeeeeeed?

November (because apparently we can only be bothered to talk about what we're thankful for one month a year), is a month of talking about what you're thankful for, so I've been told. I'm thankful to be a part of the THANKSGIVING FOOD DONATIONS DRIVE this year! Check out the FB PAGE HERE, for details. Help a local family in need this year!
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GUYS. Do I need to make a bumper sticker?