#moaningmonday

Monday, June 15, 2015It's been a pretty fantastic start to the week in Mommyland. #MoaningMonday

We've been asked:

1. Why is my period late? Is it because I've been working out? (Yes. According to the calendar I have down for you, it must be that.)
2. Is it ok to celebrate my baby's first birthday a few days earlier than her actual birthday?  (Nope, you're totally scarring your one year old who will immediately recognize the date and call you a fraud.)
3. Has anyone ever gotten a speeding ticket? Anyone, ever? Like, how do I get out of it? (Flash those milk jugs, girl! -- inspired by a fellow mom)

We came across MORE posts about Father's Day gifts, handymen for hire, and approximately 87 requests for recommendations on carpet installation.

We learned that homemade essential oil infused playdough is the solution to, well, everything.

It was "show and tell" day where we ventured beyond baby rashes (don't worry- there were plenty of those) to c-section scars! Hold on, let me hold up my belly fat so it looks flat, real quick.

But the creme de la creme? 

The impostor!

Who dun it? How'd she get in without passing the background check? Oh wait, that's only for the #MOCV group... of 6100 members.

Anyway, this chick, possibly the only helpful chick in the whole group, had won over the ladies with her knowledge of insects, amongst other things. BUT, she has committed a cardinal sin, ladies. She is NOT a mom. She is merely TTC (trying to conceive). I mean, who does she think she is? This isn't a support group for women who WANT babies. Those ladies are far too optimistic. This is a support group for women who HAVE babies and hate their lives. We can't have some hussy up in here being all helpful and shit. She's totally throwing off our lack of zen, and welp, rules are rules. But thanks admin, for letting us know that she "seems like a wonderful woman, and will be missed." 

So this one's for you, mommyimposter2015... I just poured out a little bit of my Guinness. Girl, don't get in on this crazy till you have to.