Long Hair, Don't Care

AB is sick, and when AB is sick, you do what she says. Not that that's any different when she's healthy, we do what she says then too. Ohhhh caaaaan it. We implement rules but you try winning an argument with a 2.5 year old. I know you haven't and if you say you have, I don't believe you. We've been watching a fuck-ton of The Little Mermaid. Like this afternoon, when the ending credits started rolling and she started screaming, "MERMAID, MERMAAAAAID." Anyway, now that I've seen the movie more times than I've showered in recent weeks, I have a list of observations.

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What kind of Captain of the ship is Prince Eric if he's never heard of the sea king, Triton?
Why does King Triton have a ton of different daughters with different colored hair? Are we to believe he's a player?
I wonder how out-of-shape Mermaids and Mermen feel about the skimpy attire that seems standard affair.
When the shark is chasing Ariel and Flounder, there's no way, timing wise, that she pulled Flounder through the anchor in enough time to escape the shark.
Ariel is sixteen years old.
How does she get the volume in her front swoop side bang?
I wish my lips were the same natural color as Ariel's.
Ariel really wants to know why fire burns.
When she sings, it kind of reminds me of Jessica Simpson's facial expressions.
Ursula's vanity counter is kind of amazing. I wish I could apply lipstick like that.
It's impressive what can be done with a sheet and piece of rope.
Ariel needs to tweeze less.
Ariel with a voice: 25.
Ariel without a voice: 11.
I want to try stuffed crab.
How old does Eric think Ariel is? I mean, she's combing her hair with a fork.
Prince Eric has the conversation skills of Ryan Lochte.
Can Flounder really carry the weight of Ariel and pull her across the ocean?
I can't believe Ariel is going to ditch Flounder for Prince Eric.
Sebastian has a very durable shell.
The guests at the wedding seem high. 
In what world does Prince Eric think he'd be a match for Ursula under water?
Ursula's death is rather anti-climatic. 
Walking out of the water in that glitter dress after her father transformed her must have been terribly uncomfortable.
Ah, the love story of a 35 year old and a 16 year old. Swooooooon.
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