 Monday, June 15, 2015It's been a pretty fantastic start to the week in Mommyland. #MoaningMonday We've been asked: 1. Why is my period late? Is it because I've been working out? (Yes. According to the calendar I have down for you, it must be that.) 2. Is it ok to celebrate my baby's first birthday a few days earlier than her actual birthday? (Nope, you're totally scarring your one year old who will immediately recognize the date and call you a fraud.) 3. Has anyone ever gotten a speeding ticket? Anyone, ever? Like, how do I get out of it? (Flash those milk jugs, girl! -- inspired by a fellow mom)
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 know this won't be a popular post, but I'm up to HERE with you perfect moms that are the perfect spouses.
Women, can we NOT with the husband/man bashing? For real.  I should admit-- it may not seem like it, BUT I love mommy groups. Well love/hate them. I think we should just all admit how absolutely ridiculous we're being at least 30% of the time and we'd all play much nicer. I'm already a ridiculous person so I'd just rather other people join me. It's too much work to be mature and sane all of the time.
You might find that I joke here and there about "mommy extremists" especially when it comes to the topic of breastfeeding. As someone who did breastfeed and found the struggles and joys in it, I remember how the extreme judgment felt but I also remember the difference support made. So while I poke fun, it's not at the act of nursing itself, but the obnoxious way in which other people feel they must attack individuals regarding the choice to breastfeed or not.  In honor of the mommy mutiny in response to paidadvertisinggate2015* let's take a look at mommy group rules I've compiled from across the land! These are real rules. 1. If you don't know how to be an adult, then bye felicia! (a girl after my own heart!) 2. Sadly, we have to state, WE DON'T CONDONE CHILD ABUSE! (I need to know what prompted this.) 3. This is a safe space with no judging, no debating, no discriminating, and no bashing! (yaaaawn.) 4. Please do not discuss posts with members outside of this group. That is just ruuude. (well that's no fun!)  Forevermore, Tuesdays shall be dubbed TMI TUESDAYS. When my face wasn't being slapped with pictures of diarrhea diapers and baby ass rashes, I was drowning in a sea of posts about every other bodily function possible. By the way, NO I DON'T KNOW WHY YOUR BABY IS HAVING DIARRHEA. Asking, "My baby has diarrhea, what do you think is wrong, if anything?" demonstrates to me that you actually lack the basic understanding to differentiate between a group of online women and doctors. |
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